Taking the van to the station, we took a train, switched to the Shinkansen, and took another super express train to a hotel near the airport.
Yet another long and tiring trip.
I looked out the window and thought about the experience I had for the past 3 days. It still feels like a dream. I think it always will.
It was like something in me that I never knew existed stirred and woke up within me, and is seeing the world again with the same curiosity of a baby, trying to relearn the ways of the world, trying to rethink and reshape several perspectives that I’ve gained to make sense of it all. Maybe in time, I’ll forget again. Maybe in time, I’ll go back to how I was before – disillusioned and jaded and just settling for whatever works.
But reflecting on this trip a little bit, I guess Steve Jobs says it right.
“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.”
Don’t settle. Never settle. Find something that fits you as an individual. Find something that you want.
Maybe this might not be the right job for me. I’ll never know. But if I spend my life cooped up here, I’ll never be able to find what’s right. I’ll die never knowing, always wondering, and for the first time in my life, I want to do something for a change. If I become disillusioned and jaded again, maybe then, I’ll know it’s time for a change. Because I know staying the same and being stagnant won’t help. There’s so many things to learn and see. We just need to pick a direction to go forth with. The closer we were to reaching the hotel, the more my heart was slowly hardening to a resolution.
That night, the three interviewees and I didn’t sleep. We spent the time talking the whole way through. Our dreams and aspirations, sharing our beliefs and thoughts about the trip on a whole.
When it was time, we packed our bags and left for the airport. On the plane, I simply slept the whole way through.
7 hours later, I was home. My parents were already there waiting. I went up to them without a word and gave them both an appreciative hug.
“我回来了 (I’m back),” I said with a tired smile.
“累了right? 回家吧, (you’re tired, right? Let’s go home.),” my mom said. I pressed my lips hard together to form a smile, trying to swallow the lump of tears that was forming in my throat back down. Suddenly, something as simple and casual as that could mean so much more.