Graduation is coming soon in a few months and I guess I’m feeling a little self-reflexive lately. So I decided to write about the things I’ve learned so far, having lived 24 years in this life.
I’ve learned now that growing up isn’t easy.You’d think growing older makes you wiser and that it would answer a lot of questions you used to have when you were a kid. But while a lot of things become much clearer as you age, a lot more others become foggier too and you’re left with more questions instead. The person you thought you’d become 10 years later when you were 14 turned out completely different from the one you’ve imagined. The things you thought you would finally have as you grow older still seem so out of reach. People you thought you’re going to be with forever become strangers instead. The path you originally planned for turned into a dead-end and you’re forced to go back to square one and find a new path instead. And you have to be okay with that. And you have to somehow live with that.
And things do get better after that.
Because I’ve learned that the world is in a constant state of flux. It’s always in motion. And even if it kills you inside at the point where you realise you have to let go of some things in your life despite holding onto them for too long, in time things will get better. Because other things would come to fill the void and some others would replace it completely. And you move on. And they move on. And the world will inevitably move on.
Yet having said that, I’ve learned that there are some things in life worth fighting for. And these are the people who’s been there the whole time, who’s made that effort to show that you’re worth keeping in their lives, who cares about what’s happening in your life and who accepts you for the difficult and childish person that you are. But relationships between two people were never one-way. And if you want to keep them by your side, you’ve got to be there for them too, and make that effort to show they’re worth keeping in your life, and care about what’s going on in their lives, and accept them for the difficult and unique people that they all are. And should one of you ever fail to do so and grow distant, I’ve learned never to place blame on anyone. It’s no one’s fault.
Because I’ve learned that sometimes life happens, and things change, and priorities shift, and no matter how much effort you put into it, and no matter how much one tries to hold on, if the other doesn’t reciprocate anymore, if the other doesn’t do the same anymore, then it’s time to let go lest it turns into an unhealthy and unbalanced relationship. And you have to be okay with that. And you have to somehow live with that. And you will learn how to. Eventually. Inevitably.
And there will come a point in time in your life where you would realise that letting go isn’t being cruel or heartless.
I’ve learned that these decisions were sometimes the best decisions that I’ve made in my life. In letting go, you take away the noise in your life and you give yourself more space to put everything in perspective again. You open yourself up to focus on the things that really matter. Your energy is better spent on meaningful things that make you happy and this will in turn make your life more fulfilling. Because at the end of the day, isn’t that what really matters? To minimise the noise and lighten the baggage in your life and find what makes you truly happy?
Forget pride, because it withholds you from reaching out to things that truly matter to you and would eventually cause you to lose them all. Forget fear, because it keeps you from putting things in perspective and going after the things that might make you happy. Forget anger, because it puts you further apart from the things that matter.
But I’ve learned that there are a lot of things easier said than done. Like growing up, or letting go of toxic relationships/friendships, or going after things I think might make me happy for fear I might fail or lose “face” or get mad at myself for making the wrong decisions.
However, I’ve also learned that life is a never-ending learning process and with more experience, you’ll grow stronger and will learn to bounce back faster. I’m still growing, and there’s still so many things I’ve yet to discover and explore. But if I keep an open mind, maybe someday, I’ll learn to be okay with them all.